The Reluctant Messenger

When I read today's scripture readings, my first impression was 'wow'. Not in the excited, exclamatory way of 'Wow! Those were great!', but in the manner you would use when you realized something uncomfortable yet full of purpose. 'Wow, those readings really spoke to me.'

First, Isaiah sees God and the angels and such, and is appropriately overwhelmed. He doesn't feel worthy to be there, yet he ends up being God's messenger: 'Here I am, send me.' Then Paul talks about how he's the lowliest of the Apostles, and feels some remorse for persecuting the church prior to his conversion. But then he says 'but by God's grace that is what I am.' And finally, when Peter realized just who was in the boat with him, he said 'Leave me Lord, I am a sinful man' – and Jesus replied 'Don't be afraid, from now on it is men you will catch.' Three reluctant messengers of God, all realizing their imperfections. And it seems to me that with all three God said something like 'Don't worry about that, I can work with your imperfections; you are going to do fine.'

Now if I remember correctly, none of these three guys had an easy time proclaiming God's message. They all ran into trouble – mobs, angry political and/or religious leaders, long and hard journeys and so on – a lot of resistance to change and displeasure at hearing the truth of messages that upset the status quo. When they weren't getting thrown out of towns they were often jailed. Some people did catch on to their messages though, and today we view them as successful prophets.

So back to the 'wow' factor... God is calling me, and each of us, to be messengers. I've been reluctant because I'm not perfect, and I don't want to deal with the resistance to the message. But I can see in these scripture readings that God has done this before, and imperfect people have done this before. It's a proven model, just waiting for the reluctant messenger to do his part.

Comments

[Victor]

Welcome back Steve! It's not hard to see that you're a good family man which means that your blog certainly does have to wait.

In prayer, I've asked our Lord why there are so many reluctant messengers and it seems that He's given me so many answers and without getting too deep into "IT", I'll simply say that "Faith" tells me that God can take but one of our human cells and wake "IT" UP to become a super angel without any human power but this cells beleives in reality that "IT" is truly blessed like Jesus was and would do anything for His Father which includes giving his or her life for Him.

I hear ya Steve! Sounds crazy to me especially when he or she might still have 99% of their other cells who are determined not to follow. Maybe that's why so many got put to death in the pass because these so called cells thought they knew "IT" all.

Personally speaking Steve, even if all of my cells do become that great, well then we should be able to experience "The Ressurection of The Body" but I'm not going to hold my breath and if I can make "IT" to "Spiritual Grade One" with God's Angels, that will be good enough for me.

I hear ya again Steve! Did any body ever tell you that you're doing a little too much thinking Victor and on second thought I certainly would never call you reluctant but maybe a little off center.

Really? :)

[Steve M]

Steve, so glad to see you posting again -- truly, yours is one of the most thoughtful blogs I've seen from a Catholic perspective. (I say that as a Catholic myself, one who is, for Lent, giving up reading the sort of "Catholic" blogs that are more inflamatory than meditative. I'm going to try to devote the time I've been spending on those blogs to my prayer life.)

The theme of the "unworthy" follower of Christ: this is what keeps me in the Church, the humility that we are each called to, yet a humility that is grounded in hope and mercy. God can and will do much with us (even through us) if we allow God to do so. Yes, I am of course unworthy in seven hundred different ways. If I had lived in Christ's time, and he walked past my field or boat and called me, I have to imagine I would have reacted exactly as Simon Peter did. And I'm convinced Simon meant exactly what he said. He wasn't simply being modest. Yet there is the call to Simon, Simon the sinner, to walk with Christ and trust in God's mercy and grace. So too there is a call for me, and it's up to me whether I say I'm unworthy but willing to follow and change (turning toward Christ, my ongoing conversion) or simply say, "Nope, sorry Lord, can't swing it -- look for somebody else." This lent reminds me that I am among those called to conversion, and there is hope and mercy and grace if I will only accept them and let God dwell in me, even with my roof caving in and all these cluttered rooms in my soul.

Again, thanks for your blog, Steve!