Catholicism, holiness and spirituality

The holiness of families

As I read today's scriptures, I identified mostly with Joseph. We're both fathers doing the best we can to take care of our families. And then I thought about how my wife's role in our family is so important, life-giving and vital. And then I remembered my sons - they are great kids and they bring much joy and optimism to our family.

Respect, honor, kindliness, sympathy, patience, forgiveness, humility, doing the right thing even when it's hard or hard to understand. All of that, wrapped up in love; that's family, and I think that's also a pathway to holiness. Families are meant to be holy, and to be a way towards holiness.

Some say the family is under attack these days, by some amorphous thing called 'the culture wars'. I will grant that it is not easy these days to keep a family together, to keep it healthy and loving. But then, every generation has its challenges. Our response to the world we live in, to its challenges and obstacles, is what makes the difference. As fathers and mothers, what is our response to the challenges facing our families?

Merry Christmas!

Phew! It has been a while since I last posted. This is a crazy time of year for me, and unfortunately a tough time of year. Not everyone relishes the build-up to Christmas.

Now, I love Advent – the waiting, the traditions and so on. Without Advent, Christmas day just wouldn't feel right. It's all the rest of the season that drags me down – Christmas cards and gifts for my customers (though this year I had help with that!), getting the tree and decorating it and the house, and the shopping for gifts.  All that happens at the same time as my busy-time at work, so it's sort of a double-whammy.

I did a lot of my shopping online this year – but there are those times I had to go out and spend a few hours in traffic to get an hour of shopping done. It was sad, really, to see how the hustle and bustle and traffic turned people into Grinches - honking horns, getting stuck in the intersection when the light changes, stalking shoppers to their car to get their parking space and so on. It's not all bad, I understand that; but for a busy introvert pulled between work, family, and tradition it sure can be overwhelming at times.

At times through the season, I took breaks and watched folks and considered the Christmas situation. And I had plenty of time to consider things while waiting in traffic. Often I simply wondered what God thought about all this; what did God think of what's become of the celebration of the Incarnation? Driven by love and a desire to be with us, God became human, born into poverty in a barn, or a cave depending on who you read. Now, that is something to celebrate once you think about it for a while. God with us – Emmanuel.

It wouldn't be fair to ask what God thought about all this and not put the question to myself: what do I think about this Christmas situation? Well, I find plenty of irony in the whole thing, and I don't claim to be free from it either. Jesus told disciples to sell what they had so they could better follow him, yet Christmas giving seems to have become fairly materialistic. We give to some people out of a sense of obligation just so they can be marked off the list, and that superficiality doesn't fit with the idea of giving gifts out of love. Some people, probably far too many, get stressed out with shopping or go into debt to buy the presents they think are required, and that doesn't sound like much of a celebration to me. And then there is the stress for many when too-distant family members clash during the many gatherings at or around Christmas.

But this is the season of love, when Love came down to dwell with us. I think we don't pay enough attention to that. So here's my Christmas wish for all – that we all listen a little closer to Love, feel a little closer to Love, and that we have the courage to let Love loose in our lives. Merry Christmas to all!

8 things

Tagged by Alan for 8 random things about me... so here goes:

1. I've had about 75 stitches and 7 broken bones in my lifetime; my knee still has metal in it.
2. I have an eclectic taste in music; from Allegri Miserere to The Clash to John Coltrane, The Dixie Chicks and Mocean Worker.
3. I've been self-employed for about 11 years now and I have a hard time seeing myself work for anyone else ever again.
4. I'm introverted and left-handed both, at the same time.
5. I drive an SUV but offset the emissions; I know it's a carbon hog, but it runs fine and it's paid for.
6. I like to cook, and I enjoy grocery shopping.
7. I really don't like shopping for Christmas presents.
8. I'm chairperson on the board of directors at a pro-life pregnancy counseling center; I've chaired parish councils and Habitat for Humanity coalitions.

Well that does it then. I don't spread tags around - but feel free to pick it up and run with it if you want!

Charity and Compassion

Working my way through Paul Countinho's book 'How Big Is Your God', I've come to a place where he contrasts charity with compassion. Both are good, he says and I agree; but we ought to strive for compassion. And I agree; but it's hard to do.

Most people practice charity - I even stuffed a few dollars in the Salvation Army bucket the other day. And that's a good thing to do; but aren't we called to do more? As a Christian - a follower of Christ, someone who tries to be like Christ - am I not called to something deeper?

Coutinho talks about compassion as a sort of natural giving of oneself, without counting the cost or considering how good/bad this will look on us. In fact, it's more than a natural giving, it's a divine giving of oneself. It's a way of letting God's divine life flow through us and spread to others; it connects us all. I'm not really that good at explaining it all, but I can see how compassion is in line with being Christ-like. And in the season of Advent and Christmas, that is surely a good revelation.

Do not stop practicing your charity, but pray for the grace of being more and more compassionate. Because when you have a relationship with God, when you are compassionate, you will experience God everywhere. When you have a relationship with a compassionate God, good things happen, wonderful things happen. In compassion, I celebrate the good, because that good is also a part of me. When some person in the world does something extraordinary, I am drawn to that person, and I also feel extraordinary. I share in that experience because that person is part of me. If someone is celebrating, I celebrate with that person. If someone is hurting, I hurt with that person. So I am part of every person's life, and each person is part of my life. Experiencing that human interconnectedness through our divine connection is the transition from charity to compassion.

Ahh... refreshing

Refreshing - that's how it feels to find 'How Big Is Your God?' by Paul Coutinho, SJ. But in addition to refreshing, he also challenges readers to expand their view of God. I'll be reading and blogging about this book for a while, but here is a passage in one of the early chapters that caught my attention:

Meister Eckhart, the great medieval mystic, believed that everyone needs religion as a well to take them to the river of God's love and divine life. This is a wonderful analogy. Wells are fed by rivers of life-giving water, but how often the well - and not the water it can provide - becomes the goal of our lives. Since we are seeking a big God, let's ask ourselves: has the well become to goal of our lives?

We fortify our well; we decorate it and adorn it with with elaborate and beautiful liturgies; we say "Look at our well. Look at what we've done and how wonderful it is." And we are never taken to the river. The purpose of the well is to take us to the river. The river gives us freedom and salvation. Everyone needs religion, yes. Religion is a means to freedom, but not an end in itself. Religion helps us find the river of life and the river of freedom, and it's in the river that we experience the the love of God and divine life.

In Catholicism we can get overly focused on the well - on liturgy, canon law, the catechism, social teaching, this-or-that movement in the church, translations, liturgical music, and so on. I have a real concern that many people believe all this 'doing-right' is the goal of the church. People know, deep down inside they know there's more and they long for it. They long for the river that feeds the well. Yet, how prepared are we to go there? Well, it depends on how big you think your God is.

I'm not a good reviewer, but I can tell you what I like and don't like. And I like this book a lot, enough to add to my Recommend Reading list!