If you blow upon a spark....

Some of my favorite passages from the Old Testament are from Sirach, chapter 28**. Much of it describes the damage that can be done with our words:

12: If you blow upon a spark, it quickens into flame, if you spit on it, it dies out; yet both you do with your mouth!

17-18: A blow from a whip raises a welt, but a blow from the tongue smashes bones; many have fallen by the edge of the sword, but not as many as by the tongue.

24-26: As you hedge round your vineyard with thorns, set barred doors over your mouth; as you seal up your silver and gold, so balance and weigh your words. Take care not to slip by your tongue and fall victim to your foe waiting in ambush.

There have been times when I have hurt people with my words, though I think (hope) it happens much less often these days. Many times I was not aware of the power of my words and how they made people feel. Being married to my wife, who is on the opposite end of the sensitivity spectrum from me, helped me more clearly see the effect my words have on others. But it took a while - I used to just think she was being too sensitive. It was, conveniently for me, all her problem. Boy, those were the days.

And the past couple years, reading St Teresa of Avila's constant exhortations for us to seek humility, and gaining a better understanding of Ignatian spirituality have both led me to talk less, measure and consider my words, and listen more.

It could be easy for me to sit here with my laptop and write stuff and comment on various blogs because I never see the faces of those who read my words. Sometimes I get some feedback - mostly positive (yeah!) - but I could be walking all over someone's feelings without even knowing it. And the thought that I could cause someone pain by what I write fills me with sorrow, and a great sense of responsibility. I understand that I am not responsible for other people's feelings, but I am responsible for how my actions affect this world. And I think this is true not only for what I write, but also for what I speak about people, religion, churches, and so on. This is part of my responsibility in being a member of a community, whether it is a community of bloggers and anonymous readers, my church community, school, work or the world at large.

It can be so easy, and at first gratifying, to blow a spark into a fire. It's easy to carelessly spew some bone-crushing diatribe into the blogging universe. It takes humility, thought and consideration to balance and weigh my words so as to make a positive contribution to God's creation.

** For my Protestant readers unfamiliar with the book of Sirach, also called Ecclesiasticus, here's an introduction to it. This is one of those books Luther called 'apocryphal.'

Comments

[david]

. . . thanks steve . . . you helped me today . . . peace!

[Mark W.]

You are right that we all need to be careful of our words, but sometimes, even when the words are written with love in mind, the truth hurts.

[Karen H.]

Hi Steve,
Excellent words here. I know that there are many times when I would love to just play the pundit, but I think it would be antithetical to blogging as a spiritual discipline. It appears that you are giving similar consideration to what you say. I echo Mark's thoughts, as well. There are times that we may say things that take others on a spiritual journey or process of discovery that is painful for them, though our intent was not to harm. I know that when that happens for me, I try to trust that God will care for them.

As a note: the NRSV, the Bible used in the Episcopal Church, contains Sirach.
Peace,
Karen

[Steve Bogner]

Yes I agree that sometimes there are things that need to be said but are painful to hear. In my opinion, that's a good time to follow Ignatius' way of correcting others. Not that the words will always be of a corrective nature, but I think the approach is good for such occasions.