Scruples, discernment and self-awareness

Ignatius writes a bit about scruples. I never really understood scruples, but I think I'm getting a handle on it now:

... after I have done something [that is neither good nor bad in itself], there comes to me from without the thought that I have sinned; but on the other hand I think that I have not sinned. However, in all this I feel disturbed, that is, at one moment I doubt and at another I do not. This is a scruple in the proper sense of the term, and a temptation brought on by the enemy.

He then goes on to talk about ways we can fight these scruples. If we have a lax soul then the enemy strives to make it even more lax. We fight that by trying to make our soul more sensitive. Likewise if we are too sensitive we try to make it more firm. Scruples are also when you feel like doing or saying something good (for the further glory of God, to use Ignatius' terms), but then doubt and uncertainty 'from without' creep in and prevent you from doing it.

As I read that, it reminded me about the importance of discerning good vs bad spirits. And that led me back to my earlier reading of the Interior Castle by St Teresa of Avila. She stressed humility and self-awareness - surely two very important attributes for a person to cultivate and improve their discernment and for detecting/fighting scruples. Of course, that's just touching the surface of the writing from these two great saints.

Ignatius and Teresa are certainly two different characters, but they experienced and expressed the same Spirit. They expressed it in different ways, and that is the beauty of it. Just as there is one Spirit with the church today that is expressed in so many different ways.

Comments

[Fran]

When I was a young Catholic way back when, the fear and guilt was deeply instilled and things I had never thought of as sins before all of a sudden seemed glaring. I was so delighted Post Vatican II to begin having everything overturned, or at least taken out for examination. I wouldn't say I have no scruples now, but I think I'm less anal retentive than I used to be. Whether this is a good thing or not, I'm not sure.

[jcecil3]

Greetings Steve!

Scrupulosity can be a living hell, and I speak from experience. When I was in religious life, I would worry about whether it was a sin to say the Office at the wrong time, or to miss saying Rosary, or to let the mind wonder during meditation. I worried that I wasn't fasting enough. I worried if I even noticed a woman was physically attractive (and I don't mean lust). I worried if I was in heresy if I dared question a Church teaching. I worried about what obedience meant if I thought my superior, the local Bishop and the Pope seemed to be saying 3 different things. I worried if I did not feel enough love for God, and I actually worried that I feared God too much!

An "aha moment" for me was when I was praying the Office and reciting the praise in Rev 12:10 "The accuser of our brothers is cast out."

At that moment, it suddenly hit me that Satan bullies and badgers us and beats us down with accusations just as surely as he tempts us to do what we know is wrong.

Later, a theology professor broke open the First Letter of John and threw everything into a whole new perspective for me. This letter says that perfect love cast out all fear (1 Jn 4:18). It explains that the measure of our love for God is our love for our siblings! The only thing we need to truly worry about is whether we are following the golden rule (which Christ said sums up the whole law and prophets (Matt 7:12)).

Later still, I heard an Evangelical Protestant say that after birth comes growth, and Catholics are somehwat right to say works are related to salvation. He still held to sola fide but explained that faith is trusting the one who began the process of salvation in you to bring it to completion.

I don't know if what he said is exactly orthodox from the viewpoint of Trent, but I think it is basically right. I went back and read Trent several times, and the decrees do speak of a "reasonable hope" and "trust" in Jesus even when we fall into mortal sin. Trent says this is faith, and that faith lingers in the soul after a fall into mortal sin. It is faith that impels us back to christ through reconciliation and good works.

Over time, I broke out of the scrupulous strangle-hold that had me bound. sometimes I wonder if I might be headed into presumption these days, but I still use the golden rule as my guide. I am far more at peace and enjoy life far more, and see the Gospel as good news in ways I never did while I went through this struggle.

Peace!